During the day there’s no time to think about it. It’s only once the light is off and the room goes quiet that the thoughts arrive. What still needs to happen, a conversation that could have gone differently, something small that just won’t let go. Many of the women who come to me recognise this: they function fine during the day, but at night their mind won’t stop.

Why night is exactly when it happens

As long as you’re busy during the day, your nervous system stays occupied with what’s happening around you. There simply isn’t room for everything that gets left unprocessed. At night, once those stimuli fall away, there suddenly is room, and that’s exactly when what didn’t get attention during the day comes up. That’s not a sign something is wrong with you, it’s your nervous system finally getting the chance to process.

The problem is that processing through racing thoughts rarely leads anywhere. You lie awake, your body stays tense, and you start the next day already tired.

Why calm breathing isn’t always enough

Breathing exercises before bed help some people, but with long-term tension the cause often sits deeper than breathing alone can reach. Your body has learned to stay alert, and a few calm breaths won’t simply undo that.

What does help

In my practice in Hoofddorp I work with massage to let your nervous system genuinely feel that it’s safe to let go, during the day, so your body no longer has to catch up on it at night. For women from Hoofddorp, Haarlem, Amstelveen and Aalsmeer who have been carrying this for years, that’s often the first step back to sleeping normally.

Want to know if this could work for you too? Read more about your nervous system and tension or make an appointment.